Marlon Harewood

Newcastle United

Agent O’Neill bought Marlon to Villa Park as part of government funded frog cloning experiment. Can he make it as the first amphibian premiership footballer – we think not!

Age

21

Position

Subs bench

Birthplace

Frogspawn

Lookalike

Admiral Akbar

Pre-match meal

Pondlife

Superstition

Bash head against dressing room wall until unconscious

Ugly rating